Cracked

 

Pamela: Uli, did you need us to go grocery shopping for you?

Uli: Nein.  Luke und Oliver asked if they could help, so I haff sent them.

Harriet: Uh, was that a good idea?

Uli: >Sigh< Probably not.

Meanwhile, at Target...

Luke: Uli's gonna be really impressed when she hears about the great idea we had.

Oliver: Yeah, we're saving lots of money!

Luke: Which means one thing...

Oliver: Let's go check out the Hot Wheels cars!

Uli: Ach du lieber, you are finally back!  I hope you are careful with the eggs.

They are like buying gold.  Vait...not another toy car!

Luke: We've got a surprise for you.

Oliver: We bought chocolate eggs!

Uli: VAS?!?!

Luke: They were much cheaper than regular eggs, 

and they have a ton of them in the store right now

Oliver: Plus, they don't break as easily.  

We dropped them a bunch of times and we didn't break a single one.

Luke: They have lots of chocolate rabbits, too, just in case you want to make hasenpfeffer.

Uli: You fools!  How do I bake a cake with chocolate eggs?!?!    

Oliver: Simple! Just make it a chocolate cake.

Luke: Yeah, isn't it obvious?

Uli: >Sigh...<

Gone To Seed

 

Lulu: Ma soeur! Springtime, she ees upon us!  We must order ze fleur seeds for ze garden.

Lulu et Lottie:  ♫ Printemps, printemps, la-de-da-de-da! ♫

Lottie: Let us recheck ze list.  Cosmos?

Lulu: Oui.

Lottie: Nasturtiums?

Lulu: Oui.

Lottie: Zinnias?

Lulu: Oui.

Emile: You silly girls are still wasting time on ze internet?

Lottie: >Boof<  Never mind, shorty.  We are busy planning our spring planting.

Lulu: We would plant you, but sadly you would not grow.

Emile: Zose two sisters of yours are always getting into ze trouble.

Louisette: Now Emile, zey are only ordering fleur seeds.  What 'arm can zere be in zat?

A few days later...

Giancarlo: Emile, there's a package at the door.  Could you please help me with it.

Emile: What ees wrong, mon ami?  'Ave your muscles turned into overcooked spaghetti?

Giancarlo: Just come help, wise guy.

Emile: Sacré bleu!  Ze could plant all of Nouvelle-Aquitane!

Emile: Je le savais! I just knew zose two would cause trouble.

Giancarlo: Stop complaining and pick up your end!

Trip Advisor

Daddy John is headed to Scotland at the end of the month, so Pete Dakota has taken it upon himself to research the bonny land so Daddy John doesn't stick out.

First, you must dress like a native.

Pete Dakota: Ach, hoots mon.

Then you participate in the customs...

Pete: Don't knock the Fling until you've flung!

And sample the local cuisine.

Pete: Haggis is....WHAT?!?!

Uli: Ja.

Pete: Um, I think I'll stick to a pb&j sandwich.

Uli: Ja, is probably for best.

Finally, you read up on the native flora and fauna.

Pete: Whooooaaaa!

Pete: Alba gu bràth!

Belle de Lune

 ♫ Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune plays on the phonograph ♫

Ravi: This music is so relaxing.

Patrick: I quite agree.

Patrick: I generally prefer J.S. Bach.  I love the mathematical precision

of his compositions.  It appeals to my logical nature.

Patrick: Whereas Debussy's music all about pure emotion.

It's so dreamy and ethereal.  It really speaks directly to the soul.

Not everything has to be logical, I guess.

Ravi: You're so brilliant!

Patrick: >Ahem< Well, you bring out any brilliance I may have.

Ravi: Hey, did we suddenly switch to Stravinsky?!? 

It sounds so dissonant!

Patrick: No, that's just Holly Belle singing in the other room.

 

Who's Who?

The population of Gregoropolis has grown so much that even some of the residents have trouble keeping track of each other...

Daisy: So, then Logan said --

Edith: Now wait a minute, which one is Logan?

Daisy: Oh, you know, the brown-haired boy.

Edith: Do you mean the one who always hangs around with that sweet little

blond boy who's been here forever?

Daisy: No, that would be Miguel.  And the blond boy is Sasha.

Edith: Ah, Miguel, yes, I remember now.  And Sasha--now there's a name you don't 

hear very often.  My memory is just rubbish!

Daisy: >Sigh< It's always such a challenge for us, isn't it?

So much to remember, and such a small head to store it all in.

Edith: Well, is Logan the Italian boy who hates squirrels so much?

Daisy: No, that's Giancarlo.

Edith: Oh, of course, Giancarlo.  I recall chatting with him about that once.

He really despises squirrels.  I wonder if he's ever tried modern dance.

You know, channel some of that emotion into movement.  It could be very therapeutic.

Daisy: Gosh, I'm just sure you know which one Logan is.

Edith: Wait, he's not the really gloomy boy with all the anxieties, is he?

Daisy: Oh, no, that's Duncan.

Edith: Oh, yes, Duncan, of course.  I should have remembered; like Isadora Duncan.

Well, not actually like her.  She wasn't that way at all.

Edith: Hmmm.  Logan...Logan...Logan...Oh, wait, I know!  The smart ass!

Daisy: Yes! That's him!

Edith: Oh, yes, I know Logan.  I like him, Logan's okay.

Imagining Spring

 Nanny Wendy is dealing with a cabin fever revolt in the nursery...

Mikey: We want spring t' come!

Albert: We tired a winter!

Conner: Waaaaaaah!

Nanny Wendy: I know, boys.  It has been a very long winter.

But you can find spring, and anything else you fancy, if you just use your imagination!

Mikey: Maj-a-nashun?

Nanny Wendy: That's right.  Your imagination can take you anywhere

you want to go.  Like, maybe the beach?  Give it a try!

Mikey and Albert: Wow!  Maj-a-nashun is cool!

Albert: Can our friends come too?

Nanny Wendy: Well, why not?  Give it a try!

Mikey: Yay!  Now we gots a party!

Conner: Mag-nun!

Conner: Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Nanny Wendy: My goodness, I would say Conner certainly has the hang of it!

Albert: He turn in t' Frank!

Brake Shoes

 

Meghan: Well, you will be happy to know that I got Holly Belle calmed down.

She's not going anywhere.

John Martin: That's a relief.

Nathan: How did you manage it?

Meghan: Oh, it was easy.  I just took her shoe shopping.  

That always does the trick.

Meghan: But, you know, you boys have to be more careful what you say to her.

Meghan: Holly Belle has a brilliant mind, and she's extremely passionate about 

the things she believes in.  You can't just to planting goofy, half-baked ideas in her head!

It's like putting cheap gas in a Maserati.

John Martin: Gosh!

Nathan: Wow!

Meghan: So, you get what I'm talking about?

John Martin: No, not at all.

Nathan: We're just surprised that you know anything about cars.

Meghan:  Hmmpf!  I'll be back later with our shoe bill.