Sunday, January 19, 2020

Mastering the Art of French Cooking


Giancarlo: Ciao, Emile!  You're just in time to help set the dinner table.  We've made everyone's favorite: spaghetti.
Emile: Sacre bleu! Not ze spaghetti again!

>collective gasp<
Gino: What's wrong with spaghetti?!?
Giancarlo: Spaghetti is good for you!
Angelo: You wouldn't be so small if you ate more spaghetti!

Emile: Non, mes amis, eet ees because I do not have ze delicious French food that I am wasting away!  Why can we not have more of ze cuisine français in zis 'ousehold?
Giancarlo: Because French cooking is too fussy and complicated.
Emile: Zat ees where you are wrong.  Come, let me show you.

Anthony: "Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child."  I've seen her on TV.  I think it was a program about making omelets for 300 people in 15 minutes, or something like that.*

*Season 1, episode 4.  Original air date February 23, 1963

Emile: Now, look at zis recipe.
Anthony: 'Boeuf Bourguignon.'  Hmm, actually that doesn't sound too difficult.
Emile: Not at all; even for ze non-Français
Giancarlo: Hmmmf.

And so the boys get ready to cook.  However, complications soon arise...

Anthony: Uh-oh.  The recipe calls for bacon.  We forgot to get that at the supermarket.
Gino: I found this in the pantry.  What do you think?

Emile: Imeetation bacon bits?! Madame Child would turn over in 'er grave, that ees what I think.  Non, non, non.  I will return to ze store for ze bacon while the rest of you continue with ze preparations.  Tsk-tsk!

Giancarlo: We have another problem.  I checked in the basement and we don't have any French red wines.
Anthony: Oh dear.  I knew this was going to be more complicated than we thought.
Gino: Aren't we a little young to be drinking wine anyway?
Anthony: It's fine.  The alcohol all burns off during cooking, but how are we going to solve this problem?

Angelo: Well, the recipe does say that you can use Chianti, and we have lots of that*.
Giancarlo: Ha-ha!  That's Italian wine!  Emile would never go for that!
Anthony: Well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him...

*Daddy Steve's favorite wine with pizza

Quite a while later...

Emile: I think eet ees ready to come out of ze oven.
Louisette: Oh mon petit lemon, eet smells magnifique!  Just like maman used to make!

And after dinner...

Giancarlo: I must admit, that was delicious.
Emile: But of course, mon ami.  Eet ees ze wonderful French wine zat ees ze secret ingredient!
Giancarlo: You know what, Emile? For once I agree with you! >hee-hee<



4 comments:

Sasha's Vintage Boutique said...

Quite the intrepid youngsters trying boeuf Bourginon! Frankly, I'd have been happy with the spaghetti (and some chianti, of course!) Well done!

Linda said...

Those boys will become chefs when they are older! Emile's wine knowledge needs some refining, but indeed, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. ;D

Dee said...


The boys are very adventurous in their cooking and nice that they cooked ' French' for Emile, I just hope no one tells him about the wine... he is so happy.. maybe warn Daddy Steven in case he comes looking for the missing drink...

Serenata said...

ha ha, what you don't know/see doesn't bother you... the 'secret' ingredient, sure is secret. They are very adventurous in their cooking exploits. Much plainer fare had here. :-)