Old Age

Anthony: I can't believe it.   Summer's over, 

and I didn't get nearly all of the things accomplished that I wanted to.

Old Alice: Oh, dearie, you're just getting old.  That's all.

Anthony: Old?!?! >Ack!< I don't want to be old!

Old Alice: It's not so bad.  There are a lot of advantages to getting old.

You can focus on comfort over fashion; I never wear a girdle anymore.

Old Alice: People give up their seats for you on the bus.

And if they don't, you can smack them with your shopping bag.

Ezra: Wow! Does that happen very often?

Old Alice: Not at all.  In fact, the people in adjacent seats usually move too.

So thoughtful!

Old Alice: Best of all, when you're old you can say the most outrageous things

and everyone pretends they didn't hear you.

Anthony: What?!

Old Alice: Well, they try to pretend but you know they hear you.

You can tell by the uncomfortable looks on their faces.  What fun!

Old Alice: I must dash now.  Time to re-apply my bunion cream.

Ezra: Gee, I can't wait to get old!