Saturday, May 30, 2020

How To Whitewash A Fence

Ann Marie: Rhoda, it's your turn to do the ironing.
Rhoda: Why can't one of the boys do it?
Ann Marie: >snort< Can you really see one of them ironing?
Rhoda: Hmmm...

Luke: We're going out to play soccer.
Ezra: We'd love to hang out with you, but we know you've got ironing to do.  >Hee-hee<
Rhoda: That's okay, you boys really shouldn't be here anyway.  It's far too dangerous for you.

Oliver: ...wait, what do you mean 'too dangerous'?
Rhoda: Well, an iron is a very dangerous power tool.  You boys aren't old enough and responsible enough to use it without hurting yourselves.

Ezra: Hey!  We've used power tools before!
Luke: Yeah...we've used drills, sanders, and, uh...staplers!
Rhoda: Sure, but an iron is much more dangerous.  Besides, even if you did manage not to burn yourselves, you could never get the hang of ironing.  It requires far more 
skill and concentration than boys have.

Ezra: Oh yeah?  Wanna bet?
Rhoda: Well, I'd be willing to let you give it a try...if you really think you can do it.
I can always go over and fix the stuff you mess up; providing you don't scorch anything.
Ezra: Give me that iron!

Ezra: See? Look at this!
Rhoda: A napkin is the easiest thing in the world to iron.  Even those two could do it.
Luke and Oliver: Hey!
Ezra: Alright then, give me something more complicated.

Rhoda: Careful with those pleats.  Holly Belle will have a fit if you mess them up.
Ezra: Sshh!  You're disturbing my concentration!

Ezra: Ha! Perfect!
Luke: Hey, we wanna try, too!
Oliver: Yeah, give us a turn!

Luke: Watch me iron these underpants.
Oliver: Hey, save a pair for me!
Ann Marie: They'll eventually figure out what you're up to, you know.
Rhoda: Nah, they're already halfway through the basket.

Saturday, May 23, 2020

No Football?!

Meghan: Why are you two looking so gloomy?
Mikko: We're worried!
Holly Belle: Worried? Since when do you guys ever worry about anything?
Tyler: This isn't just anything, this is football!
Mikko: Yeah, we're worried that the football season might be canceled this year.

Mikko & Tyler: No football!  Waaaaaaaahhhhh!

Daphne: Isn't the football season still months away?
Tyler: That makes it even worse!  We've got all that time to worry about it being canceled!

Daphne: Well, even if it is canceled, they can just show old games.
Meghan: Yes, there must be thousands of them.
Mikko: Old games?!? No wants to watch an old game.
Tyler: Why watch a game when you already know who wins?

Holly Belle: Alright, boys.  As Patrick would say, let's examine this logically. 
Even if it is a new game, there are only two possible outcomes: either one team or the other wins.
Tyler: Well, you can have a tie if --
Meghan: Shh.  Now don't complicate things.

Holly Belle: Thank you, Meghan.  As I was saying, you're 50 percent sure of the outcome before the game even begins.  So, it's like you really already watched half of the game.

Daphne: Yes, and when you boys watch football, you're not even paying attention half of the time!  You're too busy drinking root beer and stuffing your faces with chips.
Meghan: Or yelling and jumping up and down!

Holly Belle: Exactly.  So, when you put the two together, in the end, there's really no difference between watching a new game and watching one that you've already seen.

Meghan: There, doesn't that make sense?
Tyler: Actually, it just gives me a headache.
Mikko: Me too.  Let's get out of here.

Holly Belle: Honestly.  And they say we're illogical.
Daphne: Can you believe it?
Meghan: I can't!  Boys!

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Chore Day!

Daddy John: With the number of Gregors and Sashas running around Gregoropolis, the chores pile up quickly.  Fortunately, we have a built-in workforce and everybody takes their turn.  Of course, some complete their chores better than others...

Today, Pete Dakota and BR are making the beds.

Although, once I turn my back...

Prince Nicholas Sahara grew up in a castle and had servants to do all that needed doing; that doesn't excuse him from chores in Gregoropolis.  But, he's a good kid and jumped in with enthusiasm...if not with any expertise.

Nicholas: Oh dear.  Which is the washer and which is the dryer?

Nicholas: Uli said that I absolutely must separate the colors and the whites.  
Great Richard the III's ghost--which is this?!?

Nicholas: Well!  This job is rather fine; quiet, and puts one in a contemplative mood.  
Now that I think about  it, I don't recall seeing any of Francis' underclothing in the wash.  
Oh dear.  He wouldn't, would he? All week...wearing...the...same...


The chore of making dinner has fallen on Stephen Orange.  He carefully reviewed the cookbook with the 'assistance' of Gino.

Stephen Orange: Hmmm, fish & chips sounds good.
Gino: Come noioso!  Boring!  How about spaghetti alla carbonara?
Stephen Orange: We had it last week.  Shepherd's pie?
Gino: No, no amico mio.  Fettucine alfredo.
Stephen Orange: Ugh, no more Italian!  Beef bourguignon.
Gino: Uffa! RagĂș alla bolognese.
Stephen Orange: Beef Wellington.
Gino: Bistecca florentina.

Stephen Orange: Bangers and mash!
Gino: Salame di felino!
Stephen Orange: Bubble and squeak!
Gino: Coglioni di mulo!
Stephen Orange: Toad-in-the-hole!
Gino: Calamari fritti!
Stephen Orange: Spotted dick!
Gino: Strozzapreti!
BR: Knock it off you two; now you're just making things up!

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Stephen Orange Dreams Of Adventure

Daddy John: Stephen Orange is Gregoropolis's resident marine biologist.  His specialty is the whale shark, and he's written many an article for Sasha science journals.  However, he's been a bit restless lately; it seems as though he's lost his spark...

Stephen Orange >sigh<

Nicholas Sahara: Stephen, why so blue?  You've a face like a wet weekend.
Stephen Orange: Marine Biology doesn't seem to do it for me anymore.  I had high hopes for...well, anyway...and then I've been having the most extraordinary dream.
Nicholas: A dream?  Do tell me about it!

Stephen Orange: I'm sitting on a hill overlooking a sweeping alluvial plain.

Stephen Orange: I walk down the hill and cross the plain...

Stephen Orange: ...and come to the shores of a vast prehistoric lake.  I wonder what marvelous and terrible creatures dwell and gambol beneath its waves.

Stephen Orange: I turn around and suddenly I'm passing through a great stone canyon.  I come out of the canyon and before me...

Stephen Orange: ...lies a boundless valley.  In my dream its called the Naranja Valley.  At my feet, as far as the eye can see, are fossils!  Ammonites in infinite numbers, maybe even plesiosaurs!

Stephen Orange: I've been reading a lot about fossils lately, so that's probably an influence on my dreams.  But it must mean something, mustn't it?

Stephen Orange But even if I were able to determine if this 'Naranja Valley' actually exists, I'd never be able to go there.  Daddies say we can't really travel at this time.

Nicholas: There's a very learned chap named Joseph Campbell who says you've got to 'follow your bliss'; you've got to put yourself on the track that has been waiting for you all this time.  Perhaps this dream is telling you to live the life you ought to be living.

Stephen Orange Yes!  If I can't travel, I can research!  I can scour maps and locate this valley!  Then, one day, I will travel and discover fossils no one has ever discovered before!

Nicholas:  That's the Dunkirk spirit! As BR would say: 'Go get 'em, tiger!' 

Saturday, May 2, 2020

A Furniture Epidemic

Daddy Steve:  Holly Belle, Meghan, and Daphne never stop thinking about ways to feather the Gregoropolis nest, particularly given the current 'Stay-At-Home' situation.  As long as furnishings can be acquired safely, there's no reason to ignore the home front.

Holly Belle: Now that we're stuck at home a lot, we need to make everything as comfy as possible.
Duncan: We're in the middle of a pandemic.  How can you think about furniture at a time like this?!?
Daphne: Well, that's no reason to give up on gracious living.
Meghan: Yes!  Remember, we are British after all.

Daphne: Now that we have all these great books, we really need some comfortable chairs 
for an inviting reading space.
Frederick: And for our literary salons!
Daphne: Exactly!

Sasha appropriate furniture can be tricky to find.  Pieces designed for 18-inch American Girl type dolls are plentiful, but they typically come in a very limited color selection...

Frederick: Why always pink?!?
Meghan: Yes, as much as I like pink, I agree it can be a bit overdone.

We recently found this nice, older bentwood table & chairs set that Emile and Louisette 
highly approve of.

We probably will need to make cushions for the chairs.

"Made in France"

Emile: Bon!  Obviously eet ees of ze highest quality!
Louisette: Oui, mon petite lemon.

We also found this very dignified wingback chair.

It had a small stain on the back that Uli very diligently removed.

Uli: I vill get this stain out if it is the last thing I do!
Kurt: Dirt doesn't stand a chance against that girl.

However, our very favorite new piece by far is this comfy oversize chair.

Auntie Marti has dubbed it the 'pondering chair' and it is indeed the perfect seat for 
pondering life's mysteries.

Marco: I have some things to ponder.
Rhoda: Alright, I just about have all of my stuff figured out for now.

Of course, Holly Belle has her own agenda...

John Martin: Both of us share one chair?
Holly Belle: It's not a chair, it's a loveseat.
John Martin: It's a chair.
Holly Belle: It's a loveseat.
John Martin: Chair!

Holly Belle: Luuuuvvv seat!