Saturday, May 25, 2024

Hide the Donut


Sally: Ready for our shopping trip?  I feel the need for some 'retail therapy.'
Farrah: We're just waiting for Wendy.  She said she would be here in a tick.

Nanny Wendy: Okay, I'm ready to go.  
Uli is going to take care of baby Conner for me.
Farrah: And who got stuck watching the two little monsters?

Nanny Wendy: Now, now...Mikey and Albert are under the care of Frank and Natalie.
Sally: Frank and Natalie?!?  How are those two qualified to watch after toddlers?
Nanny Wendy: They're qualified because they volunteered.
Farrah: Volunteered?!?
Nanny Wendy: Well, a small bribe may have been involved.
Now, come on, let's leave while peace and quiet prevail.

Frank: Okay you two rugrats, we're gonna play a really fun game.
Isn't that right, Natalie?
Natalie: The absolute funnest!  It's called 'Hide the Donut.'

Frank: You guys are going to run all around the house for five, ten minutes...
Natalie: A really long time.
Frank: Yeah, a really long time, and while you're running, we'll hide the donuts.
Then, when you're done, you'll look for the donuts, and eat all the ones you find.
Doesn't that sound like fun?
Mikey and Albert: EEEEYYYYAAAA!!!!

Natalie: Okay, you get the milk.

Carolyn: Hmm, you two think you're pretty clever.
I believe those donuts were meant to be shared.
Frank: Well, the trouble with sharing is that when taken to an extreme,
nobody ends up with anything.
Natalie: Yes, this is a much better arrangement.
They're happy, we're happy.  It's a win-win.

Carolyn: And what happens when they realize the donuts are all gone?
Frank: Donuts?  What donuts?
Natalie: That's the great thing about toddlers.
They have extremely short attention spans.

Saturday, May 18, 2024

Apollo's Garden

 Daddy John:  It's a beautiful day in Gregoropolis, so the boys have bolted for the backyard to seek out fun and adventure...

Stephen Orange: Why is there a statue of a pig in the garden?
Philip Guy: I believe Daddy John calls him 'Wilbur.'
Legend has it if you rub Wilbur's snout, you'll have fun all day long!
Go on, give his snout a good rub.
Stephen Orange: I'm wearing the 'fun' shorts.  Isn't that enough?
Philip: No. It is not.  

Stephen Orange: >Sigh<
Philip: Good job!
Stephen Orange: Well?  Are we having fun yet?
Philip: We are indeed.  Race you!
Stephen Orange: ...
Stephen Orange: Okay

Daddy John: Now, what are the other two up to? I don't see -- oh, dear...

Scot-Michael: C'mon, Pete!  We're almost at the top!

Pete Dakota: >Puff, puff<  
It's like climbing the Eiffel Tower.

Scot-Michael: I bet we can see the whole neighborhood from up here!

Nicholas Sahara: 'Garden of Apollo.'  Now this sounds smashing.
Let's take a turn about the place.
Kirwan Mahoney: Ugh, sounds boring.  You go ahead; 
I'm going to see what the others are doing.

Nicholas: Well now, this must be the man himself.
Hullo, mate.  Lovely garden you have here.


Nicholas: Aaaahhh!  He talks!
How do you know my name?!?!
Apollo: I AM APOLLO!
Nicholas: Great Richard the III's Ghost!
Apollo: AND I DECREEE---Hee-hee-hee
Nicholas: What on earth?

Kirwan: Hee-hee!  Gotcha!
Nicholas: Ooh, he's taking the mickey.  Well played, old man!

Saturday, May 11, 2024

The Recycling Police


Barbara: We're almost done cleaning the kitchen.  Just a few things in the sink to wash up.
Beatrix: Good thing, too.  We wouldn't want to get on Uli's bad side!
Both: Ha-ha-ha!

Barbara: I can never remember if these containers are recyclable.
Beatrix: Hmm, it has a '2' on it.  Aren't items marked '2' through '4' okay?
Barbara: I thought it was everything except 2 through 4.

Beatrix: Didn't we get some kind of informational pamphlet 
in the mail about recycling?
Barbara: Yeah...but I think we recycled it!

Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Beatrix: Oh, just throw it in.  
If we're wrong, it's not like the recycling police are going to show up at our door.
Barbara: "Ma'am, we've traced an empty yogurt tub back to this residence."

Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Kevin: Hey, there are two stern looking guys in dark suits and sunglasses at the door.
They want to speak to the person in charge of recycling.

Barbara: Um, that would be you.
Kevin: ME?!?!?!
Beatrix: Yep, definitely you.  It was nice knowing you, brother.

Saturday, May 4, 2024

The Eternal Question

Kirwan Mahoney: >Sigh<
Kirwan: There's nothing to eat in this house.
Scot-Michael: Oooh, don't let Uli hear you say that.
Nicholas Sahara: You were at the greengrocers not an hour ago.

Kirwan: Feh!
Nicholas: Now, now, romaine calm.
Scot-Michael:...Did you...did you just make a food pun?
Nicholas: Why, I do believe I did!
Scot-Michael: Well done!  Lettuce leave him alone to stew in his thoughts.
Nicholas: Ooh!  Nice.  Who's a clever lad, then?
Kirwan: ARGH!

Stephen Orange: I could hear your moaning from the other side of the house.
Now listen up. If you wanted something specific--
Kirwan: --But--
Stephen Orange: --You should have said.  As I recall, 
you spent the entire time at the grocery store complaining.

Kirwan: Why are we here?  I wanna go home.
There's a Real Housewives of Sasha Village marathon on tv right now.
Stephen Orange: Give me strength.

Kirwan: Bah.  >Sigh<  Why is there never anything to eat?