Saturday, October 29, 2022

Jolly Jack


Logan: It's nearly Halloween!  Do you know what that means?
Frederick: Sugar comas?
Logan:  Well, that too, but I was really thinking jack-o'-lantern time

Katie: We're way ahead of you.  We picked up this pumpkin when we went shopping
with Daddy Steve.  Don't you just love his cute little squiggle on top?

Logan: Now we need to design his face.
Frederick: Alright, but can we make him happy?  I don't like scary jack-o'-lanterns.
Katie: I agree.  Everyday life is too scary already.
Logan: Fair point.  We'll give him a happy face and call him "Jolly Jack."
Let's start by sketching it out.

Logan: There.  Not an ounce of menace in that face.
Katie: Hey, that looks really good!
Logan: They don't call me the 'Two-Eared Van Gogh' for nothing!
Frederick: Nobody calls you that.

Logan: Now to paint in the details 'cos Daddy Steve won't let us use a sharp knife.
He's such a killjoy sometimes...
Frederick: I think parents have to be that way.  It's in their contract or something.
Katie: It just gives Jack another reason to be happy 
because he doesn't have to go under the knife!

Logan: Finished!  What do you think?
Katie: Oh, that's perfect.  He looks very cheery, if a bit goofy.
Frederick: Actually, he sort of looks like...

All: FRANK!!!

Logan: I'll never be able to un-see that now.

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Steeben, Upset


Stephen Orange: >Mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble, gripe gripe<

Mikey: Steeben mad?
Stephen Orange: Huh, what? Oh, no Mikey...I'm just a little upset.
Mikey: I do bad?
Stephen Orange: Oh, no, no, no, Mikey!  I'm certainly not upset with you at all!

Mikey: Goodie!  Steeben read!
Stephen Orange: Er...oh, dear...

Philip Guy: Tell you what, buddy, I'll get 'Steeben' feeling better
and then he'll you read you a story.
Mikey: Yaaaay!!!  Tank you, Fillp.

Philip: C'mon, we're going for a walk.
Stephen Orange: A walk?  What for?
Philip: It's a walk or I have, to quote Nicholas Sahara,
'Franklin stuff his gob so full of doughnuts he'll be on such a 
sugar rush he'll be catatonic and thus tolerable.'
Stephen Orange: A walk it is!

Philip: Okay, start talking.
Why've you been such a crab lately?
Stephen Orange: I haven't been that bad...
Philip: If Mr.-Always-Cheerful-Nicholas has noticed and is threatening violence, 
you've been pretty bad.

Stephen Orange: I won this amazing research grant last year 
and discovered a rare fish skeleton...
Philip: ...but?
Stephen Orange: But I can't pull it together!  I've got all my notes but I just can't 
get the writing started!  I've got some kind of block or something.

Philip: I can help you with organizing your notes.  
You might just need a fresh set of eyes.

Stephen Orange: Do you think that's all it will take?
Philip: Maybe, maybe not.  Won't hurt to try.
You should never be ashamed to ask for help.
Stephen Orange: ...I need help.
Philip: You've got it.  But first, you have a story to read.

Stephen Orange: Then Linus said "On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from the 
pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children."
Mikey: Do Gweat Punkin voice!
Stephen Orange: 🎃🎃 I AM THE GREAT PUMPKIN and 
THIS pumpkin patch is the MOST SINCERE!!  🎃🎃
Mikey: Yaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Keeping Up With the Times

 Sometimes Old Alice's mid-century origins are very apparent...

Old Alice: It sounds like the Soviet Union is up to no good again.
Anthony: Actually, the country's name is Russia.

Old Alice: Oh, is that what they call themselves now?
I suppose that was Khrushchev's idea.  Hmph.

Anthony: Putin.

Old Alice: What's he putting?

Anthony: Uh, do you ever watch the news, Alice?
Old Alice: You mean the newsreel shorts in the showhouse before the movie starts?
Anthony: No, on television.

Do you mean to say that thing actually caught on?

Saturday, October 8, 2022

The Search for Bigfoot

 Daddy Steve:  Junior Forest Ranger Rhoda and Girl Guide Anika are about to embark on a scientific expedition...

Anika: Wish us luck, boys.  We're off to search for Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch.
Rhoda: If we don't make it back, send someone to look for our bones.

Sasha: Gosh, I sure hope they don't actually find Bigfoot.
Miguel: Relax, amigo, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Ann Marie: Isn't Bigfoot supposed to live in the Pacific Northwest?
Rhoda: According to one of Daddy John's books, he's been sighted nearly everywhere.
Anika: So why not our backyard?

Patrick: >Sigh< So illogical.
Ravi: Well, it keeps them out of trouble.

Rhoda: I sure hope we at least find footprints.  Or his scat.
Anika: Eeeewww! I don't!
Rhoda: I thought you were a committed naturalist.
Anika: Not that committed
Rhoda: >Tsk, tsk<  What would Jane Goodall say?
Anika: If she were honest, probably that hanging out with monkeys is overrated.

Uli: Door shut, bitte.  It is raining and you vill track mud inside!
Rhoda: Phooey and drat; there's always someone standing in the way of scientific progress!
I guess we'll just have to limit our search to the house.
Anika: Just as well.  I can't imagine a wet Bigfoot smells too good.

Rhoda: Frank, have you spotted Bigfoot around here?
Frank: No, but I did have the most delicious bear claw with my afternoon tea.

Rhoda: This creature certainly has big feet.
Anika: But he's too pale and hairless.
Anthony: Will you two get out of here?!

Anika: I guess we don't really even know for sure if Bigfoot is a boy.
Rhoda: Oh please; just look at how messy and irresponsible he is.
Anika: True.

Anika: You'd think if he were anywhere, it would be the basement, but there's just spiders.
Rhoda: Spiders are cool, but they're not Bigfoot cool.

Rhoda: Well, we're having no luck at all and I'm getting tired.
Should we just give up?
Anika: What do we write in our scientific journals?
Rhoda: We just do what every other Bigfoot hunter does; we embellish a little!

Saturday, October 1, 2022

Big Shoes to Fill


Blake: Hey guys.  What's going on here?

Ezra: We're just checking out Daddy Steve's new shoes.
Blake: Good grief, these are huge!  We could use them as kayaks.
Wesley: Size 12 EEEE!

Blake: Daddy Steve sure has big feet, considering the rest of him isn't that big.
Wesley: He always says that he's got the foundations to be a skyscraper,
but he turned out to be a low-rise.
Ezra: Missed opportunities...

Blake: Well, it's about time he bought new shoes.  His old ones were falling apart.
Wesley: Daddy Steve says that when get older, buying shoes isn't so much fun anymore.
He says he would rather buy shoes for us kids.
Ezra: I'm sure Holly Belle is totally on board with that.
👧 "But Daddy Steve, I simply MUST have some new shoes to match
my lovely new dress!"👧

All three:  Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

Holly Belle: What are you three clowns talking about?
Wesley: Oh, nothing >gulp<
Ezra: Not a thing...
Blake: Nothing at all.