Saturday, August 29, 2020

The Birds & The Bees

Bowie: So that's how you change a diaper!
Ann Marie: Yes.  And if you occasionally helped Nanny Wendy with Connor's diapers, 
you would know that.
Bowie: Well, you guys seem to have everything under control.
Meghan: Hmmph!
Connor: Ba ga koo!

Bowie: Hey, what's that?!
Meghan: >whispering<  That is s-e-x.
Bowie: Sex?!?
Connor: Blx!

Meghan: Shh!  Not so loud!
Ann Marie: Didn't you know?
Bowie: I always thought sex was...uh, well...I'm not sure what I thought.
But I didn't think it was that.
Meghan: Yeah, that's what it is.  Kind of surprising, isn't it?
Bowie: Boy, I'll say.
Connor: Oook flep poka.

Ann Marie: Apparently baby girls have sex too, but it looks a little different.
Bowie: But, uh, we don't have sex?
Meghan: Oh no, as near as we can guess, it eventually just goes away by itself.
Ann Marie: Like a pimple.
Bowie: Well that's a relief.  I'm really surprised though; the big people
 always act like sex is such a huge deal.
Connor: Blaa!

Meghan: Does anything the big people say or do ever make sense?
Ann Marie: It's true.  I'm afraid the big people are rather clueless.
Bowie: I guess you're right.
Connor: Eeep.

Meghan: It's probably best that we not mention this conversation to the others.
Ann Marie: It would just upset them.
Bowie: Oh, for sure.  I mean Connor's just a little baby.  It's not his fault that he has sex.
Connor: Gah!

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Dress For Success

Daddy Steve:  We recently bought a dashing Gregor suit, dress shirt, & tie combo off of eBay.

It was made, some time ago we would guess, by someone named Aunt Dinah.  A number of her creations turned up on eBay at the same time.  We had never heard of her before, and apparently no one in the Sasha Facebook group had either.

Whoever Aunt Dinah was, she was an excellent seamstress.  The tailoring is impeccable and the jacket is fully lined.

Giancarlo took a fancy to the suit and claimed for himself.

Giancarlo: Italian men appreciate finely tailored suits.

He thought it made him look like a Wall Street tycoon.

Giancarlo: What did the Dow close at today?
Wyatt: Huh? 

We began to wonder if we had a similarly businesslike ensemble in the girls' wardrobe.  A search produced only this outfit which Valerie is wearing.  We think it would be suitable for the corridors of power...

Valerie: I'll be preparing a legal brief, if you need me.

We suspect that nowadays women have a wider variety of choices in business attire.  Gone are the 1980s when giant shoulder pads commanded respect.

Valerie: Anyway, it's what's in your head that's important, not what you're wearing.
Giancarlo: Absolutely.

Of course, at the moment, this is actually what most folks are wearing to work...

Giancarlo: Do you think this robe needs a wash?
Valerie: >sniff, sniff<  Mmmm...maybe.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Wardrobe Malfunction

Daddy Steve: There appear to be some sneaky shenanigans afoot in Gregoropolis...

Holly Belle: Now, does he understand what he's supposed to do?
Meghan: Oh yes, he's quite clear on that.  He brought up the issue of compensation again.
Holly Belle: He needn't worry.  If everything goes according to plan, he'll get what's due him.

Rhoda: Hey, what's going on here?
Meghan: Never mind, Rhoda.
Holly Belle: Yes Rhoda, you just run along.

 Meanwhile, in the boys' room...

Frank: Hey, John Martin.  Whatcha doin'?
John Martin: Changing clothes.  Somebody got jam all over one of the kitchen chairs 
and I sat in it.
Frank: >Tsk, tsk<  There are some careless folks around here.  You're gonna wear that?
John Martin: Yeah, why?

Frank: Well, it's not really up to par for a smart looking chap like yourself.  Why don't you wear this?  For looks, you can't beat a man in nautical wear.  That's what I always say.
John Martin: I've never heard you say that.  In fact, I've never heard you talk about fashion at all.
Frank: Well, then dig the potatoes outta yer ears.  No,no, you put this on.  Trust me, it's your look.
John Martin: Oh, all right.

John Martin: At last, some peace and quiet.
Holly Belle: ♫♫ Ooooh John Marrrr-tinnnn ♫♫
John Martin: >Sigh<

Holly Belle: Oh, there you are.  I... >gasp< what an astonishing coincidence!  
Our outfits match!  Can you believe it?!?
John Martin: Yipe!

Holly Belle: Of course, this just proves what I've always said: what a handsome and well-matched couple we make!  Let's go out to the garden and have someone take our picture.
John Martin: Well, I...ah..ah... >sigh<

Meghan: Here you go, as promised.
Frank: Thanks.  Pleasure doing business with you.

Rhoda: Wow, Frank.  You sold your brother out for a cake?  That's pretty harsh.
Frank: >chomp, snarf, chomp<  Want a piece?
Rhoda: ...  >shrug< ...sure.

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Stephen's Big Party

 Daddy John: Stephen Orange has been invited by the S.C.S.F.W.F. (Sasha Consortium Searching For Weird Fossils) to join them on a dig for unusual and rare marine fossils.  He is excited to go; this is something he's been hoping for his whole life.

Gregoropolis has become a bit crowded of late, so getting away also suits him just fine.  Stephen Orange has never been a social creature; he's mostly aloof with the others at the best of times.  He would consider Nicholas Sahara his closest friend, only because he tolerates him the most and Nicholas is so relentlessly cheerful.

Still, when Nicholas and the others arranged a going away party Stephen found himself quite touched...

Stephen Orange: All..all of this is for me?

Nicholas: Well, Stephen, what do you think of our little bun fight?
Stephen: Thank you, Nicholas.  This was so very nice of you.
Nicholas: I'm glad you're pleased.  I only organized. Uli, of course, made all the food.
Uli: Ja,!  Eat, meine freunde!

More of the gang trickles in and Stephen excitedly discusses his upcoming adventure and his hopes for new discoveries.

As Gregoropolis's newest resident, Scot-Michael is awed by Uli's festive spread.

Scot-Michael: Wow!  You've really gone all out, Uli
Rhoda: She really is the best at this girly baking stuff.
Uli: Hmf.  Haff some lemonade.

Benjamin Roy: So, if you discovered something new, will they name it after you?
Stephen Orange: Ooooh, that's too much to hope for...
Pete Dakota: Wait, if you discover something new, but it's a fossil, wouldn't you have discovered something old?

Despite his aloofness, Stephen has formed a close bond with baby Connor and toddler Mikey.  As far as they're concerned, Stephen Orange reads bedtime stories the best because he does the best voices.

Connor and Mikey are upset that Stephen is going away...

Connor: Bah!
Mikey: Stevie no go!  No go, Stevie!
Stephen: Now, now, don't you worry.  I will be back before you know it.  Your big brothers Nicholas and BR will read you stories while I am away.
Mikey: >sniffles<  Okay...pwomise Stevie come back.
Stephen: I pwomi--, er, promise.

The next day, Stephen Orange stares out the plane window, anxious for his big adventure.  What will he find?  We will have to wait til the end of the summer to discover what discoveries he makes!

Stephen: >sighing dreamily<

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Stephen's Big News

Stephen Orange: Camera, check.  Spade, check.  Trowel, check.  Let's see, hmm...

Scot-Michael: Hi Stephen Orange!  How are you?
Stephen Orange: Busy.
Nicholas: >tut-tut<  Manners, Stephen

Stephen Orange: >sigh<  If you must know, I am inventorying my archaeological equipment.
Nicholas: Whatever for, Stephen?
Stephen Orange: >sigh<  I've been asked by the S.C.S.F.W.F. (Sasha Consortium Searching For Weird Fossils) to join them on a dig.  I leave in a week to assist in digging for as yet undiscovered marine fossils.
Nicholas: Well, I'll be blowed!

Stephen Orange: Yes, it's a highly prestigious invitation.  I -- 
Scot-Michael: How do you use this thing?!
Stephen Orange: Hey! Put that down!  You're messing up my tools!

Nicholas: Er, come along, Scot-Michael.  We'll leave you to it, Stephen.
Stephen Orange: >grumble grumble< ...have to start over...>grumble, grumble<
Nicholas: We'll give you a proper send-off before you leave. 
Stephen Orange: No, no, you don't ---
Nicholas: I'll brook no argument!  A little knees-up is just what's needed!  
Gordon Bennett, this is exciting!

Stephen Orange: >sigh<  A party?  >sigh<  The next week can't pass fast enough.