Saturday, January 25, 2020
Sunday, January 19, 2020
Mastering the Art of French Cooking
Giancarlo: Ciao, Emile! You're just in time to help set the dinner table. We've made everyone's favorite: spaghetti.
Emile: Sacre bleu! Not ze spaghetti again!
Gino: What's wrong with spaghetti?!?
Giancarlo: Spaghetti is good for you!
Angelo: You wouldn't be so small if you ate more spaghetti!
Emile: Non, mes amis, eet ees because I do not have ze delicious French food that I am wasting away! Why can we not have more of ze cuisine français in zis 'ousehold?
Giancarlo: Because French cooking is too fussy and complicated.
Emile: Zat ees where you are wrong. Come, let me show you.
Anthony: "Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child." I've seen her on TV. I think it was a program about making omelets for 300 people in 15 minutes, or something like that.*
*Season 1, episode 4. Original air date February 23, 1963
Emile: Now, look at zis recipe.
Anthony: 'Boeuf Bourguignon.' Hmm, actually that doesn't sound too difficult.
Emile: Not at all; even for ze non-Français
And so the boys get ready to cook. However, complications soon arise...
Anthony: Uh-oh. The recipe calls for bacon. We forgot to get that at the supermarket.
Gino: I found this in the pantry. What do you think?
Emile: Imeetation bacon bits?! Madame Child would turn over in 'er grave, that ees what I think. Non, non, non. I will return to ze store for ze bacon while the rest of you continue with ze preparations. Tsk-tsk!
Giancarlo: We have another problem. I checked in the basement and we don't have any French red wines.
Anthony: Oh dear. I knew this was going to be more complicated than we thought.
Gino: Aren't we a little young to be drinking wine anyway?
Anthony: It's fine. The alcohol all burns off during cooking, but how are we going to solve this problem?
Angelo: Well, the recipe does say that you can use Chianti, and we have lots of that*.
Giancarlo: Ha-ha! That's Italian wine! Emile would never go for that!
Anthony: Well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him...
*Daddy Steve's favorite wine with pizza
Quite a while later...
Emile: I think eet ees ready to come out of ze oven.
Louisette: Oh mon petit lemon, eet smells magnifique! Just like maman used to make!
And after dinner...
Giancarlo: I must admit, that was delicious.
Emile: But of course, mon ami. Eet ees ze wonderful French wine zat ees ze secret ingredient!
Giancarlo: You know what, Emile? For once I agree with you! >hee-hee<
Saturday, January 11, 2020
There's No Such Thing As A Minnesota Snow-Ape
Benjamin Roy: Wait a minute. Tell me that again.
Megan: BR, we know what we saw!
Daphne: Yes! There's a monster prowling around the backyard!
Rhoda: I saw it too! I would have kicked its behind, but, um, the other girls were too scared, so we ran right back into the house.
BR: Alright, alright...I'll grab Pete and we'll go outside and take a look around.
Daphne: Oh, thank you BR! You two be careful!
Pete Dakota: What exactly are we doing?
BR: I told you; Megan, Daphne, and Rhoda say they saw something sneaking around out here. Rhoda thinks it was a Minnesota Snow-Ape.
Pete: A S-s-snow-Ape?! >gulp< D-d-do you believe in those?
BR: No, I don't. But it will make the girls feel better if we investigate.
Pete: Oh, O-o-okay.
BR: Hey! What's this?
Pete: What did you find?
BR: I don't know. We'll give it to Stephen Orange to examine.
Stephen Orange: >mutter, mutter< I don't know why they gave this to me. I'm a marine biologist, not mammalian. >grumble, grumble<
Nicholas: Hullo Stephen, whatever are you up to?
Stephen: >And I hate being interrupted, sigh< I am examining a piece of fur BR and Pete found in the backyard. >sigh<
Nicholas: Great Richard the III's Ghost! I overheard some of the girls nattering on about this. Do you think there is a mysterious local simian roaming the garden?
Stephen: >sigh< There's no such thing as a Minnesota Snow-Ape. This is probably just from a squirrel or a rabbit.
Nicholas: Still, awfully exciting, don't you think?
Stephen: No. Make yourself useful; dump this flask out in the sink and wash it.
Nicholas: Oh dear, er, this isn't some sort of acid, is it?
Stephen: No, it's grape Kool-Aid. I was drinking from it until I remembered I don't like grape Kool-Aid.
BR: Well, we haven't seen anything unusual. I'll bet they just saw shadows on a mound of snow and their imaginations got the better of them. Let's go in.
Pete: B-b-best idea all day.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Ringing In The New Year
Daddy Steve: How did you ring in the new year? Here at Gregoropolis, the kids were determined that they were going to greet 2020 right at the stroke of midnight.
Mikko: Daddy Steve, can we have a New Year's Eve party and stay up 'til midnight?
Daddy Steve: Hmm. Do you really think you'll be able to stay awake that late?
Mikko: Oh sure we can!
Tyler: No problem!
Here's what really happened...
Mikko: >Yawn< I think he knew all along we'd never make it.
Tyler: Yeah, he's pretty smart for an old man.
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