Saturday, April 29, 2023

Pop-Up Italia

 Daddy Steve: Spring has been very slow in coming to Gregoropolis this year.  Frankly, we are all getting a bit impatient for the nice weather to arrive.  Recently, the Italian kids were daydreaming about sunny locals...

Marta: It says here that it's currently 70 degrees and sunny in Florence, Italy.
Gino: Ah, Firenze! Birthplace of the Renaissance!  Michelangelo!  Botticelli!

Angelo: Ravioli and Chianti!
Antonia: Sshh!  We're not supposed to know about Chianti!
Angelo: Ah, what Daddy Steve doesn't know, won't hurt him.

Marta: How I would love to be there right now.

Giancarlo: Amici, we can go there, with this book and the magic of Gregoropolis!
Antonia: 'The Wonders of Florence'

Angelo: Wait un momento, before we start.

Antonia: Now where did he go?

Angelo: Ah, molto bene!  I don't want to look like a tourist.

Angelo: Wow, it's an immersive experience!
Marta: Look, il Duomo.

Gino: Proof of what brilliant engineers we Italians are.
Antonia: And it only took 140 years to finish.
Giancarlo: Firenze was not built in a day!

Angelo: The Palazzo Vecchio and Piazza della Signoria.
Giancarlo: That's where Michelangelo's David hangs out.
Marta e Antonia: 💖 He's so handsome! 💘

Giancarlo: The Uffizi; greatest art museum in the world.
Marta: But Emile always says that the Louvre is the world's greatest art museum.
Giancarlo: Oh, do not listen to quel pagliaccio!

Giancarlo: The Ponte Vecchio and Arno River.
Gino: So picturesque.
Marta e Antonia: Gold and jewelry shops!

Giancarlo: The Pitti Palace and Boboli Gardens.
Antonia: Former residence of the Medici family.
Gino: I would be comfortable living there!

Marta: Is our virtual trip making anyone else homesick?
Gino: Actually, it's made me hungry!  Let's go to the kitchen.
Angelo: You get the water boiling for the pasta while I grab the corkscrew
and a bottle of 'you know what.'

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Haute Couture

Frederick: Hello, Louisette.  How are you today?
Louisette: Ah, mon chéri!  In truth, I am feeling a bit wistful.
If I were in Paris now, zee chestnut trees would be in bloom.  >Le Sigh<

Frederick: Well, it might cheer you up to know that
a little bit of Paris has come to you in the mail.

Louisette: Mon dieu!  I have been expecting a parcel from ze city of lights. Where ees eet?
Frederick: Hmmm, Luke and Oliver had it.  I'm surprised they haven't given it to you yet.

Louisette: As you would say, good grief!

Oliver: Do you think it's really from Paris, France?
Luke: I suppose it could be Paris, Texas.  What do you suppose is inside?
Oliver: It says here 'Robes pour femmes ou filles.'
That's French for...something, I guess.

Luke: I think that means it's a robe for a fish.
Oliver: It couldn't be a bathrobe 'cause fish don't take baths.
Luke: But they could get cold.
Oliver: I don't like cold fish.

Louisette: Oh, give me zat, you fools!

Louisette: I 'ave been waiting for zis!
Lottie: Ees zat ze seeds we ordered?
Louisette: Certainly not!  Eet ees ze very latest fashion from Paris.

Louisette: Ah, très belle!
Lulu: Hmph! Eet ees not very practical for working in zee garden.
Louisette: Ma chérie, zis ees not a peasant dress.  Eet ees haute couture!

Lulu: Alors, who would 'ave guessed zat our dear sister ees Marie Antoinette 'erself!
Lottie: >Tee-hee< Bon courage, Marie!  Careful zat you do not lose your 'ead!

Lulu et Lottie: >Tee-hee-hee-hee!<

Louisette: >Boof< Let zem eat cake.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

A Buckaroo at Bedtime

Nicholas Sahara: Psst!  Scout!
Scot-Michael: Zzzzsrk..huh?  Whoizzit? Nickels?

Nicholas: Might I doss down with you, please?  I had that dream again.
Scot-Michael: The one where you're watching tv underwater, or 
the one about Hell's Angels disco dancing in a McDonalds?

Nicholas: That last one's yours.  
This was the one about riding a brontosaurus like a...a...a 'drover.'

Scot-Michael: 'Cowboy.'  What have I told you about eating pizza before bed?

Nicholas: It isn't my fault!  Peter was reading aloud from one 
of his cowboy novels whilst we were noshing on a deep dish!
Scot-Michael: >Sigh< Get in.

Scot-Michael: Have you brushed your teeth?
Nicholas: Of course.  I'm not a neanderthal.

Nicholas: Zzzzzzzzzz
Scot-Michael: Zzzzzzzz

Nicholas: Giddy-up, little dogie!
Scot-Michael: Oh, good grief...

Saturday, April 8, 2023

'Ear ye, 'ear ye (Bunny Bandit Redux)

Colin: Hey Daisy, get up!  It's Easter morning.
Don't you want to see what the Easter Bunny left us?
Daisy: What's the point?  I already know what we're going to find:
a bunch of decapitated chocolate bunnies.

Colin: In all fairness, Frank bites off only the ears, not the whole head.
Daisy: Alright then, de-earitated bunnies.  Hmm, is 'de-earitated' even a word?
Anyway, I feel like the Easter version of Jamie Lee Curtis in the Halloween movies.
Colin: I think you may be pleasantly surprised this year.  Kaveh has been working with Frank
to overcome his bunny ear biting compulsion.  He's using hypnosis!

Earlier in the week...

Kaveh: Now, Frank, concentrate on the donut.  You are getting very sleepy.
Frank: Very sleepy.

Heather: ...donut?
Kaveh: It had to be something he would focus on.

Kaveh: When I count to three, you will hear only my voice.  Listen to my instructions.
Listen and repeat.  One...two...three...

Kaveh: You will not eat chocolate bunny ears.
Frank: I will not eat chocolate bunny ears.
Kaveh: You will leave chocolate bunny ears alone.
Frank: I will leave chocolate bunny ears alone.

Daisy: I remain skeptical, but let's go check our Easter baskets.
Colin: Trust me, things will be different this year!

Colin: NOOOOO!!!!

Colin: He ate everything but the ears!

Daisy: Well, you were right.  This is different.