Right Tools for the Right Job

 Noah Conrad is sorting through some blueprints for his next project...

Noah Conrad: The money is in the detail.

Noah: Yep, this is the one.  Now, I need to make some notes.

Where's my mechanical pencil?

Noah: Wait, what's that?

Noah: Lipstick?!?!  What the heck?

Noah: And a makeup tray instead of my paint samples?!?

Noah: >Gasp<

Noah: Nooooo!!!! My beautiful beautiful tools 

all replaced by....cosmetics!

Kirwan Mahoney: What's all the hubbabub, Bub?

Noah: YOU!

Kirwan: >Hee hee<  

Noah: Grrr....

Kirwan: Relax, Tiger, I'll bring your tools back.

By the way, you might want to use a couple of these things.

Noah: >Sigh< He got me again. >Sigh<

It was a decent prank, actually.

Noah: Hmmm...my nose is looking a little shiny...

Sunk

 

Logan: Where's Holly Belle?  You two are always hanging out together.

Meghan: She's playing 'Battleship' with Nathan.

Logan: >Snort<  You are what you play, I guess.

Meghan: What?

Logan: Never mind.

Nathan: G-4

Holly Belle: Miss.

Nathan: That's impossible!  I've tried all the locations around one of your hits.

Holly Belle, are you moving your ships around?!?!

Holly Belle: So what if I am?

Nathan: It's against the rules, that's what!

Holly Belle: Well, that's stupid.  They're ships.

They're supposed to move around.  That's why they have propellers.

Holly Belle: Nathan, you're the cheater!  You're trying to look at my board!

Nathan: My leg went to sleep, and I'm just stretching it.

Holly Belle: I demand a neutral observer to monitor this conflict!

Kevin: Kaveh, you're needed to referee a heated game of Battleship.

Kaveh: >Sigh<  I feel like I'm in the UN.

A Farewell Two Jazz Hands

 Daddy Steve's new addition to the garden statuary collection has drawn a curious crowd...

"Where are her arms?"

"Where is her shirt?"

"Where are her arms?"

"Where are her shoes?"

"Where are her arms?"

BR: She's going to get cold without a shirt.

Nicholas Sahara: Well, that was the artistic style back then, 

to carve free the model's, er, décolletage.

Noah Conrad: Her what now?

Nicholas Sahara: Her, um, upper lady parts.

Pete Dakota: Boobies!

Nicholas: >Sigh< Don't be crass, Peter.

BR: Alright, I think you've seen enough.

Pete: Hey!

Scot-Michael: Well, I think the bigger mystery is what happened to her arms??

Noah: Aw, she was just working out and 

tried to lift weights that were too heavy.

Nicholas: Perhaps in a paroxysm of over-exuberance she threw jazz hands

and the poor dear threw her arms clean out.

Scot-Michael: Really?  You can say 'paroxysm of over-exuberance'

but you can't say 'boobies'?

Nicholas: >Sigh< Oh, hush.  Don't be crass, Scout.

Kirwan Mahoney: No, no, I know!  She was petting her giant cat and

the cat got rabies and went feral and with dripping fangs chewed her arms off!

BR: Alright, lads, on the count of three we all say the answer

at the same time.  One...two...three!

All: JAZZ HANDS!!!!